Learning how to let go....

Adoption update...


Dear Praying Friends & Family,

For the last 2 ½ months I have tried to write this email to you…..but I just could never do it. Now we know why, the story wasn’t finished…God was orchestrating something so amazing and so wonderful for little Baby-M. We just needed to be still until He had finished writing the story. Now, God has given me release to write. As I do, the tears are flowing…tears of joy….tears of sadness….but mostly tears of awe as we consider what God has done for Baby-M.

At the beginning of June, Jack and I discovered that we were once again pregnant – expecting another baby February 6, 2011. At the time, things were not going well with Baby-M's adoption. His paperwork was not in order, his forms hadn’t been signed and court closure was looming on the horizon. Despite these circumstances, God gave us a great peace that He would work all of the details out.

About two weeks later, we received a call from our adoption agency that would forever change our lives. They told us that Baby-M's case was “hopeless” that his case was “impossible” and that we needed to accept another referral. Baby-M would be returned to his original orphanage to spend the rest of his life. We were heartbroken. It took several days for the realization to hit that Baby-M would never come home, that he would never meet his big brother, that we would never get to snuggle him, kiss him and or rock him to sleep. God was asking us to lay Baby-M down…..our Isaac. Even though we shed many tears, we never stopped praying for Baby-M and for his release because we knew that “impossible” was not acceptable because nothing is impossible for our God.

That brings us to today. Last Thursday, we again received a call from our agency…one that we didn’t expect. This time the news was much different. This time with great joy in her voice, the director of our agency told us that Baby-M's papers were in order, his papers had been signed and he was ready to come home! God has done the impossible!! Baby-M has been released – our prayers have been answered and we are once again in awe.

As I talked to our agency about Baby-M's projected homecoming date, she said that if everything went smoothly, Baby-M would come home the end of January – beginning of February…the same time our second baby is due to be born.

Once again, we were faced with a decision – one that we never thought we would be making. Our agency granted us the weekend to pray about how to proceed. They said that even though we were pregnant that would let us proceed; however, they needed us to be absolutely sure that we could proceed…that we were aware of the fact that both of these children would be arriving in our family at the same time. They wanted us to consider all that that would mean for both of these children and our family.




It is so difficult to write the rest of this email….there were many things that we needed to consider, special circumstances that couldn’t be ignored, we prayed about what would be in Baby-M's best interest, new baby’s best interest….for us the most unselfish thing that we could do was once again lay Baby-M down, but this time it wouldn’t mean him going back to an orphanage….this time it means that another wonderful adoptive family will have the privilege of calling him son.

I have to be honest, I was afraid to write this email….afraid that our decision would be judged, that we would be judged, but I rest in the fact that we are making this decision because we want what is best for Baby-M. We want to be fair to him and his needs. We want Baby-M to be given the care, attention, bonding time, etc. that he will need right away that would be difficult for us to give with his homecoming overlapping with new baby’s birth.

Either way, Baby-M wins! He is coming home….even if it is not to our home. We love Baby-M dearly. Jack told me last night, “Sarah, there will always and forever be a void in my heart for Baby-M.” Yes, there will be. Our hearts and arms will always ache for Baby-M, but in our sadness, we are rejoicing in the miracle that God has done to release Baby-M and allow him to be adopted. To grow up in a forever family!

And so it seems like our journey to Baby-M is complete…with the best ending there could be….Baby-M will have a home…parents that love him and rock him and kiss him and tell him how precious he is. We will continue to pray for the child that God has for us over in Ethiopia and look forward to the day when we will get to meet him/her.

Thank you again for praying and for standing in the gap for Baby-M. We long for the day that we can meet Baby-M and tell him about you and your faithful love and prayers for him, even if it is in heaven.

Sincerely,
Jack, Sarah & Aaron Keller